I am a planner. Have you noticed? I clean for a week before we have company, making a daily list of chores to get done before our guests arrive. I start thinking about Caleb’s birthday party in July (his birthday is in January). I like having all of my Christmas presents wrapped by Halloween.
So this whole ordeal—not so much in my plan! But you know what? That’s okay!!! Seriously, it’s okay!
I know, I know, you think that’s the Magnesium talking, right? Nooooooo, I’m not even on that anymore. The only liquids I’m getting now are water and grape juice.
It seriously is okay though. The Bible tells us to “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance” (James 1:1-3). And that has just been my mantra throughout. I’m choosing joy.
Believe me people, I can’t explain it. I’m a worrier at heart and I still do worry about all of this. But God has just given me a peace that honestly transcends all understanding. I am going to love my daughter no matter what her issues. If she is in the NICU for 6 weeks, then I will cuddle her and learn how to feed and take care of her so that she will know she is loved. If she requires multiple surgeries, I will change the dressing, wash her face, and hold her hand through all of the pain. If God chooses for her to be born earlier than we would like, I will learn how to take care of her feeding tube and do kangaroo care. Whatever it takes, we’re going to do it. (I say “I” a lot because I’m the one writing…but my amazing husband will be right beside me the entire time. He’s incredible like that.)
So now that I’m on bed rest and no longer teaching, what is my job? What’s my purpose? I’ve been a teacher since day one, and it’s in my blood. Now what?
Well, I have a new job description. Now, my job is to take care of Abby by eating well and moving around minimally as to allow her to grow for as long as possible. I’m going to go to all of my appointments, get the blood work done that I need, and continue to educate myself so that I can be prepared for her arrival. This will mean letting go of control of many aspects of my life: Caleb, the house, teaching, etc. But I can do it!!
But Matt and I have recognized that we have another job right now. We have the opportunity to encourage so many people: the eager med students who are so sweet and compassionate, the nurses who work tirelessly, the housekeeping staff whose job is often thankless, the doctors whose expertise is amazing…the list goes on and on. There are SO many people here in this hospital who could use some encouragement! So that is what we’ve been trying to do. After all, our life’s mission statement is the same as Camp Wabanna’s: “To live a life that points others toward the love of Jesus Christ.” We could mope and groan about our situation, but what good would that do? Why not be an encouragement?