Life as a Leach

I often think back on my life and realize how God has prepared me for so long to be a special needs mom.  During last night's insomnia, I was thinking about what I would say to a younger me. 17 year old me, it's not by accident that you are working with that student with special needs and a trach each day as a guidance office assistant.  God is exposing you to trach life and allowing you to see how much more there is to a person than his or her special needs.  You are able to see that having a trach is just another way to breathe, and it's not as big of a deal as it seems.  You will draw upon that often in the first few years of Abby's life. Young, married, pregnant with your first child me, you sat on your old couch one night in your tiny little house and told Matt that you felt like God had called you to be a parent of a child with special needs.  You didn't know what that meant at the time and wouldn't for nearly four more years.  Matt will remind yo...

Abby has really started to enjoy cooking with me!  She loves pulling a chair up to the counter and helping me measure and dump things into the bowl.  Yesterday, she announced she wanted to make her own peanut butter "samesh" (sandwich).  Well, you bet I jumped on that one!  And guess what?!?!  She ate a ton of it!!  Woo hoo!!! My girl loves to wear her apron and be my "little helper."  She loves our "girl time" even more and tells me that whenever it's just the two of us!  Not gonna lie...I love it too!

Lol!  Hope this made you smile!

We drove home to see a package on our front porch.  Abby is beginning to recognize the packages my Book Looks books come in, so she ran to the porch to retrieve the package.  We opened the door and she immediately asked me to open the package.   (Good thing this book was for her!)  When she saw it was a board book, she begged me to read it.  I obliged.  :) With a title and cover picture like this , you can expect this to be a sweet book about the love between a mother and daughter, and it doesn't disappoint. You know the phrase, "Having a baby changes everything" that Johnson and Johnson coined a few years ago?  That's the basic premise of this little book.  Each page shares something the mom used to do before her daughter was born, and then what she does now with her.  While each activity is done a little differently now than before the little girl was in the woman's life, it's obvious that the mom wouldn't change any of it for the wor...

That moment when your child realizes he is "different" from the other kids because he really isn't into sports, loves to read, finds history interesting, and adores school... I didn't think I'd be dealing with this sort of angst this early on, but I climbed on into his loft and settled in for a heart-to-heart.  We talked about a lot of things, but I shared with him how he shouldn't apologize for liking history or reading!  Love what you love and don't let anyone tell you that you shouldn't! We watched this little video clip together.  I'd seen it last week on Facebook, and I thought it was appropriate.  Will Wheaton, a sci-fi actor, answers a little girl's question about how to deal with being called a nerd. Although some of it was over his head, I paused it periodically and we talked about what he meant.  I think he got it. I have You Are Special  by Max Lucado.  I think it's time to read it again!  "You are special be...

I have rekindled my love of books in the last 9 months or so.  I have always, always loved to read.  As a kid, I constantly had my nose in a book and would often fall asleep reading.  I would read while walking in the mall, so my parents had to guide me by holding my arms so I wouldn't run into people.  (That sounds pretty nerdy, now that I type it...)  But then, life got in the way.  First, I was a college student with too many mandatory reading assignments to have any pleasure reading.  Then, I was a new teacher up to my ears in lesson plans, grading, and paper work.  Shortly after, I was a new mom learning how to juggle a career and a child.  And then...I had Abby!  :) But now, I feel like I have some time to read again.  And that feels SO good!  I usually read in the mornings as I get ready (while drying my hair!), and then I might read a bit after the kids go to bed.  But considering that I haven't felt like I had t...

Dear Abby, Today is your third birthday.  At exactly three years ago today, you came flying into this world and quickly stole our hearts with those big black eyes you had.   Three years old, little girl!  Where did the time go?!  You have SO much personality, and you are living up to your name.  You truly are  a joy to everyone you meet.  Even strangers who have no idea how much you've been through in the last three years comment on how much of a joy  you are.  If they only knew! It is amazing to me to see how far you have come.  Three years ago, my only prayer was for God to let us have you for a just a little longer.  No one thought we had much time with you, and I tried so hard to cherish every second.  I took so many pictures because I didn't want to forget your face.  I held your little hand and tried to fill a lifetime of love into those first few terrifying days.  I vowed that no matter how much time w...

I have had this rolling around in my head for over a week now and couldn't even fathom writing about it until now.  That's how tough this is for me to write.  As it is, I have been working on this for over two hours. Back in May, we participated in a Canadian genetics study where researchers are trying to confirm that they have found the mutated gene that causes CCMS.  We were really excited about the prospect of being a part of a such a big (well, for about 10 people!) study.  All that was required was a saliva collection from Matt, Abby, and me.  It was painless and easy!  We got a little bit silly during the process, took pictures for posterity, mailed off the collections, and really didn't think too much about it after that. The Thursday before Abby finished feeding therapy, I had a message from our geneticist saying she had some news about the study.  We played a little phone tag and she finally caught up with me on Saturday mo...

Because of the way this summer has gone, I haven't had nearly as much one-on-one quality time with Caleb as I had hoped.  It's just not that exciting for him to be at the hospital all day, but I have needed to be.   We have been able to do a few fun things though.  We snuck away a few weeks ago to the Science Center for a few hours, and he had a great time! building moon cars...  ...trying to feed the baby bird like he's the momma bird...  ...simulating an earthquake.. ...creating a cool track... ...pretending to be a ship's captain... ...admiring turtles, because they are his teacher's favorite animal... ...pretending to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle... ...playing on the underwater simulator and chasing down a sea turtle for his teacher... I was also able to take him to Port Discovery again last week...but I purposely didn't bring a camera so that I could have even more quality time.  :...

I decided last night that Abby and I needed a fun, relaxing day after the stressful week we have had.  We got tickets from the front desk for the zoo, packed a lunch, and off we went!  It was a wonderful day!  The nice thing is that Abby doesn't have any expectations, so we don't have to see every single animal.  I hit the ones that I knew she would like, such as the elephants, giraffes, chimps, and lions, and we just took our time and strolled around.  It was good exercise for me, and Abby loved rolling in her stroller, watching the world go by! Abby got a big kick out of this bird's nest... ...but hated the open-air one!  Go figure! Although she hasn't told me, I think her favorite part was probably brushing and petting the goats. Abby LOVES elephants.  Besides dogs, I think they're her favorite animal.  She would ride one if she could. Caleb likes giraffes, so we took a few pictures for him. The ...

I got to go on Caleb's recent field trip to a park in a neighboring county.  It had a nice nature trail, a small zoo, and a nature center.  The animals there were all rescued after being hurt in the wild and nursed back to health.  He got to hear a presentation about different types of animals and see some live ones up close--but wasn't interested in touching any of them!! I gotta say...going on a field trip as a mom is way more fun than when you're the teacher!  :) Here are some pictures from the trip. A cute little owl who was rescued after some kind of trauma cause his head to not be upright. This big fella had one eye. The peacock was showing off for us!  All I could think of was, "Show them the shimmer! "  (If you have a Sophia the First lover like I do, you'll get that.) :) He was a big mamma jamma!! The park ranger with a snake whose head was a little too close to my ear at one point.  I don't care if he's poisono...

This video is so, so, so  true.  I have a unique perspective on this, being the mom of a little girl without a known life expectancy.  I can say that some of my favorite memories have been the "ordinary days" we've had...watching cartoons on the bed, making silly faces in the mirror, having family cuddle time, singing along to The Imagination Movers in the car...it's about finding the every day miracles. Grab your tissues, folks!  You're gonna need 'em.

Bad news:  I was rear-ended today. Good news:   It wasn't my fault. I was going to pick up Abby from preschool when the car in front of me stopped short as the car in front of it turned left.  I went over onto the shoulder to make sure that this car had plenty of room.  The car behind me also tried to come over onto the shoulder, but she was going too fast not to hit me.  I'm glad I moved over, or I would have probably been sandwiched between 2 cars! It was a little more than a fender-bender; the bumper, back hatch, and left corner panel will have to be replaced.  There's also damage to the metal undercarriage behind the bumper, due to a hitch piercing the bumper.  I'm not sure if anything will need to be replaced in the undercarriage. Thankfully, I had a witness who confirmed that the accident was the woman's fault to the police officer.  My insurance company has already put the cost on her, and I will be able to get a rental car. Appar...

This girl gets very kissy whenever I blow dry her hair after a bath.  She loves to watch herself in our big bathroom mirror and smother me with kisses.  I'm glad I captured the moment!

I'm so sorry for the lack of posting this week.   It's been a hectic week and I just haven't had time! Here's a quick run-down of excuses: Monday:  I worked all day, then dealt with whiny children all night. Tuesday:  I worked all day and tutored all evening, not even setting foot in my house until almost 8 pm! Wednesday:  I did all sorts of things around the house, played with Abby, watched Anna, and went on an ambitious shopping trip with both children in the evening.  I regretted it. Thursday:  I took Abby to Story Time, worked around the house a ton, dealt with supply orders, and went curtain shopping...no luck again. Friday:  That's today.  I worked all day (talk about an insane day at work!!!), fixed a quick dinner, then took the kids + Sara to an event at the library.  They did lots of winter crafts, ate pizza, and made their own ice cream.  They were in heaven! This is one of those weeks when I feel like Matt and I are ju...

Enjoy this awesome Christmas flash mob (I totally want to be part of one before I die, by the way!!) while we head to a children's Christmas service that is sure to be entertaining if yesterday's rehearsal is any indication!  :)  Let's just say that at one point during their time on stage, Abby stuck her leg up in Anna's face.  With Abby's foot in front of her eyes, Anna kept fussing, "Dop it, Abby!  Dop it!!!!" and Abby just cackled away with the hilarity of it all!  Other times, they were taking turns running off of the stage as their frantic mothers took turns trying to catch them.  Oh my... Merry Christmas, everyone!

I had a rare day at home with my girl--no therapy, no doctors' appointments, no insurance meetings!  We had a great time playing outside!

It was a good mail day!!!!   My long-time friend Elizabeth sent Abby and me the cutest  bracelets ever!  What a fun way to start the weekend!  Wanna see?!? Mine is a sweet little bracelet with black Swarovski crystals.   On either side of the heart, I have one garnet and one opal because they are Abby and Caleb's birthstones.   I knew about that part, but the heart with the sweet picture of Abby and Caleb (with We Choose Joy on the back!!) was a complete surprise.   I LOVE IT! Abby's teeny little bracelet is, of course, Hello Kitty.  :)  There are dark and light pink Swarovski crystals on hers, with a dangling Hello Kitty charm.   This girl woke up in a nasty mood after her nap.  The tears immediately stopped when I handed her the bracelet.  Can you guess what her favorite part is?? Both of our bracelets are very well-made.  Elizabeth creates all of the tiny links in betwee...