When you have a life-changing event such as having a medically-complex child, you are able to do a lot of self reflection. Matt and I often chat about how we're feeling and what is hard for us.
Currently, one of the hardest things about our new normal is feeling like Abby is not completely ours. We sometimes have to ask to hold her because the nurse has her, and we often have to check to make sure that we aren't repeating a care that the nurse has already done. When we hold Abby and play with her, a nurse is in there...almost like supervised visitation.
Don't get me wrong. We have been really pleased with our nurses so far and LOVE our day nurse. Since she'll be the one alone with Abby most often, we're so glad that we feel comfortable with her. She loves on Abby and gives her kisses, and we are so happy that she seems to really enjoy being with us.
It's not them. It's us. We just have to get used to the fact that we can't do all of this on our own as we would like. And that's hard.