I am a worrier. It's just what I do. And the worry button is on overload these days.
Paul...you know, in the Bible...must not have been thinking of people like me when he wrote, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.
I love that verse. I really do. I've long-since had it memorized and repeat it to myself often, but it doesn't help an old worrier like me too much. It's a constant struggle. And I've got plenty to worry about these days:
...I worry about Abby having a good life and not one full of pain.
...I worry that Caleb is going to miss out on things as he grows up
...I worry that I will be so busy with the technical side of Abby's care that I will miss the fun stuff
...I worry about all of the surgeries we'll be facing
...I worry about job security
...I worry about our insurance situation
........just to list a few!
A friend from college used to say that worrying was like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere. This is so true...and yet I still do it.
But in that same chapter, just a couple of verses before, Paul tells us, "Be full of joy in the Lord always. I will say again, be full of joy." Philippians 4:4
So while being worry-free will never describe me this side of heaven, I can try my best to choose joy. Some days are harder than others...much harder...but we're learning.