Saturday, March 5, 2011

Confessions of a Worrier

I am a worrier.  It's just what I do.  And the worry button is on overload these days.

Paul...you know, in the Bible...must not have been thinking of people like me when he wrote, "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything through prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7.

I love that verse.  I really do.  I've long-since had it memorized and repeat it to myself often, but it doesn't help an old worrier like me too much.  It's a constant struggle.  And I've got plenty to worry about these days:

...I worry about Abby having a good life and not one full of pain.
...I worry that Caleb is going to miss out on things as he grows up
...I worry that I will be so busy with the technical side of Abby's care that I will miss the fun stuff
...I worry about all of the surgeries we'll be facing
...I worry about job security
...I worry about our insurance situation

........just to list a few!

A friend from college used to say that worrying was like a rocking chair:  it gives you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.  This is so true...and yet I still do it.

But in that same chapter, just a couple of verses before, Paul tells us, "Be full of joy in the Lord always.  I will say again, be full of joy."  Philippians 4:4

So while being worry-free will never describe me this side of heaven, I can try my best to choose joy.  Some days are harder than others...much harder...but we're learning.

1 comment:

Amy Morris said...

Hello, I enjoy your blog and your beautiful family. Please know I am praying for you. I am your Mom's retired coworker Erma's daughter in law. I live in PA and am a pediatric home health nurse. I want to encourage you by sharing my experience. My patient who was in an auto accident that left her with a brain injury at 11 years old has a brother who was 3yrs old at the time of the accident. He is now 14 years old. I have been working this case almost 7 years. I have witnessed him growing into a great young guy. He has had to deal with a lot more than most can imagine, but it has made him who he is today. When talking to him he said that he has a real understanding of the value of life. His parents have always given him special time when they can, and he is a great kid. He is very loving towards his sister and mostly always kisses her goodnight. He has lots of friends who hang out here at the house (I am workin a nightshift) They come in and out of the room often. He is best at making his sister laugh. He has always been mature for his age which his parents contribute to him having adult nurses to talk to and sometimes play with :) yes when he was younger I spent many nights playing games with him in between his sister's care. He would end up falling asleep in her room and I would give him a pillow and cover him up. Of course this happened during the summer when school was out. Each year our time together lessens as he is busier with his sports and friends, but all this has contributed to the awesome person he is today. So just remember when you think of what your lil guy maybe missing out on he is also gaining much more by having his little sister to love and learn by. Hope this encourages you. Amy Morris ps to bad I don't live closer I would love to help fill in some of those hours of nursing you needed filled ;)