Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Medical Termination

Roe v. Wade is certainly a court case that stands out in the minds of most.  It's the one that ultimately legalized abortions in the United States.  This is my anti-abortion post.  You've been warned.

I have always been Pro Life, but I never understood the sacrifice involved in that proclamation until July 22, 2010.  That was the day (3 months to the day before her birthday!) that Abby was diagnosed with Pierre Robin's Sequence in utero.  It was also the day that we were first faced with the question of medical termination.  We very quickly said that we would take Abby any way that God would give her to us, and that we didn't want to discuss it anymore.  The doctor respected our wishes and never brought it up again. 

At the time, I couldn't believe that he would suggest such a thing over something as minor as PRS.  It can seriously be nothing more than a small jaw, and there are often no other medical complications.  A child might have a cleft palate, but that's about it.  Do people really consider abortion over such minor birth defects??  The answer, I found from some internet research, is yes.  Quite a few do. 

Now knowing what we know, I have a feeling that the doctor might have suspected that Abby's issues were more extensive than just a small jaw.  That may be why he brought it up, but I probably will never know. 

Would I have chosen medical termination if we'd known that Abby had CCMS? 

NO. 

I have always been Pro Life, but now I'm a Pro Lifer who has been face to face with a terrifying decision and has chosen LIFE for my daughter.  You can't truly be Pro Life until you've been there.

If I'd chosen medical termination, there would be no clapping when I come home, no cuddly hugs, no sweet kisses, no toothy grins, no Wild Thing headbanging into my stomach, no crazy hair in the mornings, no I Love You signs, no brother-and-sister-lovin', no hysterically funny temper tantrums, no bee-boppin' to music...and a million other things that I would be missing out on.

Maybe you're reading this and you have also faced that terrifying decision...and maybe you chose differently.  I'm not condemning you in the slightest bit.  I'm sure that it was a very tearful and difficult decision, and I'm sending you cyber-hugs right now!

Or, perhaps your reading this as a fellow Pro lifer...who has never had to face that terrifying decision.  I pray you never will. 

This post is for those of you who may have stumbled across my little blog because you're facing that same terrifying decision...and you're not sure what to do.  I won't lie; life with Abby isn't easy!  But it isn't boring either!!!  :)  You can do this.  God will give you the strength to face whatever it is He has given you. 

Choose life. 

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hello Julie,

I found your blog through Reagan's and I have to say I really enjoyed your post.

I have always considered myself Pro-Choice and thought that as I read your first paragraph.

But as I continued...I was also born with Pierre Robin's and my (perfectly fine) jaw dropped when I read your doctor's suggestion!

Thank you for offering a new perspective to those who may not have seen it...

Best wishes.

Tonya said...

You are a strong woman. Looking forward to reading more of your story and how you are LIVING OUT your convictions. Reality is so much different than theory--thankful for the choice you made and the story you can now share.

Anonymous said...

Great post! I listened to a program several years ago that spoke on abortion. He said there is no middle of the road. It doesn't matter if the child was conceived in the horrible situation of rape, etc., life is life. You are either for life or against it - pro-life or pro-death. That pretty much summed it up.

Karen

Kiki said...

When I was 23, I started working as an RN in a busy NICU associated with a very prominent hospital. There were so many incidents where our team was called to a delivery of a baby that was supposed to be "born with complications", when out popped a very uncomplicated child! There were also those children whose parents were told that the best hope for their child was a vegetative state and the offer to withdraw life support would be suggested. I will never forget what a nineteen year old mother said of her child to a room full of doctors. She said that she believed in God and that He would never give her anything that He would not give her the strength to do! WOW! I was moved! After that meeting, when I was talking with the neonatologist, I cried about her wisdom! He said he was equally impressed. A year later, that doc came into see me (it was not his month to work the unit) and he was so excited to share with me about his one year check up with that lucky little girl. Yes, she had delays etc but she was doing things that he would have bet money, would never have been possible. He said this proves to him that we can all learn something from any situation life hands us. While I am definitively pro life, I can never judge another. Looking at how much joy your special daughter brings your family, especially her brother, it exactly the reason to celebrate life. ALL life is precious!

sumslay said...

I appreciate your view, but I am, and will forever be pro-choice, (which is NOT pro-death: we don't walk around going "Kill it! Kill everything!"). It is everyone's decision. If a 15 year old uneducated girl wants to keep her baby, that's her decision whether or not I agree with it. You have a loving, supportive family to bring a baby into, and I'm very glad you chose to keep the pregancy. Some people might not be as strong.

Also, for the record, I've never had an abortion, but I did have a mom who got unexpectedly pregnant at 18 when she thought she was using contreception and have heard many lessons about how it ruined her life. Some people just don't want to be mothers.

Bugg's mama said...

What a beautiful family you have. Your daughter is so sweet. I read her birth story. A fighter with a valiant spirit indeed!

I have a special one, too. It is a joyous life.

Nice to meet you! ~Bree~

Anonymous said...

I admire your story and your strength. Your family is so precious! This kind of post bums me out sometimes though, because I think it's time for women to stop feeling like they need to choose whether to be "pro-life" or "pro-choice." Pregnancy is not the black-and-white issue some try to make it out to be and asking women to pick a side isn't fair.

I would certainly continue with a pregnancy that had been given a poor prognosis and love the child I was given, but I still want that to be my choice that I make with my family-- just like it was your choice that you made with your husband.

While some conditions may result in health problems and disabilities, others like anencephaly (when the fetus's skull and brain do not develop) do not result in a viable life form but may still go on to a full-term pregnancy. If this were my own diagnosis, I would want time to talk and pray with my family before I made a decision--not be told I had to proceed in a specific, predetermined way.

In an impossible situation, I want to have control over my own body, and I don't want someone to put a political buzzword on that or try to make me (or any other woman) feel bad about thinking for myself.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for bringing this difficult and sensitive topic up. Just to add to these previous comments, sometimes we are not given a choise. It is God´s, and only His. We decided pro-life for our unborn child, I was expecting twins. We wanted him, with heart failure, and possible delays in development. We studied everything there is, to prepare ourselves. But, he died after six hours, being born extremely premature - there was nothing to be done, he just was too small to be operateds. But I have faith that he was here for the short time, to change our lives. His brother is alive and well.
Just to say, embrace yourselves to love, whatever the situation is. If it is meant to be, you will be given the strength to endure, and grow as a person, at the heart level. With much love annilii