Boy was I right!
He brought it to me the other day and asked if I would read him some of it. I had already told him what the book was about, so I was pleased he was interested. I have found that Caleb opens up more if you let him take the lead and start the conversation. When I push it, he shuts down.
I chose a story to read, and it talked about how the sister of the special needs kid sometimes felt left out because her brother was in the hospital all of the time. Caleb agreed and said that he feels like that sometimes too, but he knows it's not Abby's or our fault. Abby's sick and she needs our attention. (What a smart, wise kid I have!)
*We try desperately to give Caleb individual attention as well. Just because he understands that Abby needs us doesn't mean that he doesn't!
He then said that he knows Abby is a miracle, but he really doesn't know why. I figured we were far enough away from the terrifying NICU days to give him a little more information, but didn't want to overload his five year old brain.
I had him hold up his 10 fingers and said that is about how many kids in the world have Abby's sickness. (Syndrome would be lost on him.) We talked about if that was a lot (at first, he said it was!), and then I gently told him that most of the kids who have it go to be with Jesus pretty soon after they are born. I purposely avoided the D word. He got a very serious look on his face, so I think he got it. I told him that Momma and Daddy were worried in the beginning that Abby was going to be with Jesus too, but that God is piecing her ribs back together and helping her to breathe better.
He then cut in and exclaimed, "So that's why she's a miracle!!"
My son has witnessed so many miracles and is trying so hard to wrap his five year old brain around what he's experienced. It is a privilege to be his mother and help guide him through his own journey. I don't take for granted what a different path his life has taken in the last year and a half, and while he can drive me crazy :), I am so thankful for the undying love and acceptance he has shown toward his sister. While he may miss "the old days," I know that he wouldn't trade having Abby.
I have a very special son. He was created to be the perfect big brother to a very special girl.