Sunday, June 19, 2011

Are We There Yet?

You know how kids constantly ask that annoying question, are we theeeeeeere yet???  I don't hear it too much from Caleb yet (please don't encourage it!), but I used to groan on field trips when someone would break out with the dreaded question.  One person piping up would trigger ten more until we had a chorus of whiners.  Uhhhhhhhhhh...

I wonder if God ever feels that way about me.  I find myself constantly asking some variation of the same question. 

Are we there yet??  Is Abby getting off the vent now?  Is this what our new normal is going to look like?  Are we at the end of the surgeries?  Are we done with weekly doctor's visits?  Huh?  Huh?  Are we?  Are we?!?!

I have a hard time being content with where we are right now, because frankly, I don't want to be where we are now.  I don't want to be in the "car," crammed in between nurses and doctors!  I want to be to our destination...that paradise called decannulation, sipping on an ice-cold glass of freedom and privacy!  :)

But then God reminds me that if I'm constantly focused on getting there, I'll miss out on all of the sights along the way:  Caleb's interactions with his sister, Abby reaching all of those important milestones on her own timetable, the time when we take a huge step and actually go on our first family vacation...

I guess it's the whole stop and smell the roses philosophy. While it's hard and I really want to just get there, I am also learning to see the value in the sights along the way. I don't want to miss out on all of those because I'm so focused on my destination.

Matt and I have an amazing opportunity to share with SO many people in a way that we never would have if Abby had been born healthy.  I can't even tell you the number of meaningful conversations I have had, or the times I've been able to share my heart.  We have said from the beginning that if God was going to put us here, then we would try our best to be a sense of encouragement and hope to others.  It's not always easy, and I sometimes find myself dreaming of that day...
So, those are my thoughts for tonight.  Maybe it's all of the spicy homemade salsa I had today that's stirring up these deep analogies...or maybe it's just God teaching me to be patient.  Either way, I hope that you know that I try to be transparent and real with ya'll.  It's not always sunshine and roses, but I'm real.  :)

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