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Stream of Consciousness

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I am lamenting the fact that my summer is very close to being over and I feel like I was robbed of a few weeks when we were handed the news about Abigail.  I did have a great vacation though, and it was very nice to not think about the inevitable for a week.  I got a very cute baby announcement in the mail, which brought about a fresh batch of tears from both of us.  It's actually kind of nice to see Matt show some emotion because usually nothing bothers him.  I am currently struggling a bit with the fact that some people can smoke, drink, and drug their way through their pregnancy and have a perfectly healthy baby.  Heck, there's a whole show on TLC about women who didn't even know they were pregnant!  Amazingly, their babies are fine.  We, on the other hand, worked hard for this baby, wanted her, prayed for her...I take tons of different vitamins, am very careful about what I do and do not eat, don't drink or smoke, and haven't even made necklaces in order to avoid inhaling the fumes.  It's just hard to stomach that we did everything right and still she has a defect, while others can do nothing right and have a fine baby.  In other news, the crib bedding came today and it looks really cute!  The lampshade got cracked in several places during shipment because it wasn't wrapped properly, so I'm hoping I'll get a partial refund.  I think it will still be usable though.  I will take some pictures once the nursery is all set up, but the crib isn't up right now and probably won't be for a little while.  I do have 3 more months, after all!  Actually, I'm not feeling rushed at all with Abigail.  I think it's because I know what could come after she's born and it won't be easy.  I'm trying to just enjoy being pregnant with her while it's still "easy." 

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ds said…
Abigail may have some challenges to overcome but she will have wonderful parents and family who adore her already. We don't even know for sure what those challenges will be but we know God did not make her with defects. He knows her name and every tiny part of her. Someone I love dearly told me not too long ago that if this is going to be reality we need to face it. I am looking ahead and I can't wait to meet our little Abigail. We'll face each challenge as they come.
August 9, 2010 at 5:39 PM
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