I most certainly did not watch my dog Becky steal Caleb's peanut butter sandwich (very gently) out of his hand and not do anything about it! I definitely did not lie to my son when he asked where it was and tell him that he already ate it all! He definitely did not proceed to look down at his belly and exclaim, "I did??"
I did not put a nasty smelling candle that I got in a Teacher Appreciation Week drawing into my treasure box. I did not then shamelessly sell it to a kid for 26 tickets under the pretense that it would be an excellent Mother's Day present!!
I did not tell Caleb that there was a farm in his belly and that in order for the crops to grow, he had to feed and water them. It didn't work! (but it really did!)
We do not get Caleb to drink his milk by having him show us his muscles and then gush over how much bigger they got after that one sip of milk. I certainly do not avoid drinking milk at all costs myself!
I did not waste most of my weekend away downloading and playing silly games on my new Ipod Touch. I most definitely did not justify downloading several of the silliest games by saying that they were for Caleb! I didn't download a game called "Pee Monkey" whose object is to get as much pee in the toilet as possible. That would be a disgusting and obnoxious game, and not at all fun...
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