Tuesday, July 3, 2012

You Might Have Home Nursing If...

For those of you who have never experience home nursing, it is...interesting.  It could be wonderful....or horrific, depending on the nursing staff.  I've personally had both experiences, and am now (thankfully!!) experiencing the wonderful side of home care.  When you have nurses you can trust, they can be a lot of help and you can reduce your stress a bit.  But it is definitely interesting.

I wanted to give my readers a glimpse into the lives of families with home nursing.  I polled my online trach group, hoping to get a few funny comments about life with home nursing.  I was figuring I'd have about 15 or 20.  The result was so much more than I hoped for!!  Just 2 hours after I posted, I had 27 comments, and it grew to 77 just in the first night--many of them writing multiple ideas.  They have just kept on coming from there, and some of them cracked me up!

Because of the overwhelming response, I've separated this into a couple of different posts so that you can thoroughly enjoy them and hopefully learn a little more about life with home nursing.

You Might Have Home Nursing If...

You hide baby products you don't want lost or misused and find them stashed in random places.

You find yourself asking if you can hold or rock your own kiddo.

You leave the door unlocked all night so you don't have to be up to let the day shift nurse in.

You have signs on the walls and dresser drawers and shelves labeling where EVERY. LAST. THING. goes and still have things turn up in unexpected places.

You have food labeled in your fridge.

You can never plan ahead, for one of your nurses are sure to call in when you do.

You need doctor's orders on how to take care of your child.

You have a working coffee pot and a pot of coffee on most days, even though no one in your family drinks coffee.

You have formula and medicine splattered all over your walls.

You don't get a night's worth of sleep.

You pick up after someone who isn't your child.

A box of 100 powder-free vinyl gloves in used up in 24 hours or less.

You worry that in your exhaustion, you might leave your undies on the floor in the bathroom.
Your night nurses do not show up, and neither do your supplies that you ordered a week before.

You have to remember to close the bathroom door when you get up to tinkle in the middle of the night.

You divide the cabinets in your kitchen for the kids who get nursing and "general" family cabinets.

You call the table in the study "The nursing area."

You refer to the front room where your medical kids sleep as "the ward."

You post printed rules in your bathroom.

You can't figure out how the formula got on the ceiling...floor...walls...mirror...behind the bed...

You can't give your child Tylenol because it wasn't specifically listed in the care plan.

Your non-trached kid thinks 3 a.m. is a good time to get up and watch TV with the adult awake in the next bedroom.

You hold your pee all night so that you don't have to get up to put clothes on.

You don't have any privacy at all...even when we argue, they hear everything!

You sleep with a bra on for 3 years.

You make sure showering, clean clothes, and makeup come before coffee.

You buy the cheapest available toilet paper, napkins, and paper towels as you run out of your 6 month supply in 15 days.

Your nurse is 10 minutes late every day because of a train that only exists for them...they would get fired from McDonalds for less!!

You have to tell your spouse, "The Garage!!" so you can fight.

You have someone interrupt everything you say to tell their stories, even when you're not talking to them.

Your fridge is full of food that is not yours.

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