I've hesitated to post this, because it was an intensely personal and sensitive conversation. But I hope that by sharing this, people will recognize that siblings need love and reassurance too. Sometimes, the special needs child needs so much attention that the brothers and sisters get pushed to the side.
The other night when I was putting Abby to bed, Caleb brought in his Minnie Mouse to give to Abby. (No, I have no idea why he has a Minnie Mouse. I'm pretty sure he got it out of my treasure box at school a few years ago, but for whatever reason, he loves it!) This was very generous because he has been reluctant to let Abby play with it before...which, of course, meant that she wanted it even more and would often sneak into his room to snatch it!
So I was surprised when he told me that she could have it. When I asked how long, he told me that Abby could have it until she died.
Not wanting to make a big deal of what he said, I joked that Abby was going to be around for a long, long time, so was he sure that he wanted to give it to her for that long?
But then I noticed the serious, sad look on his face.
I dropped to my knees and asked him if he wanted to talk about something. Near tears, Caleb shared that he knew that Abby had a lot of medical problems and he was worried that she would die like Becky did.
I brought him downstairs to where Matt was and the three of us had a good cry right on the kitchen floor. Caleb asked how long we would have her and we told him that so few people have what Abby has that we just don't know. But we do know that she is doing better than pretty much everybody else who has what she has, so we hope she is going to be around for a very long time. I told him that the best thing he could do is to love Abby so much it hurts, for as long as we do have her.
Caleb also told me that he he had been worried that Abby would never walk. I confessed that I was too, but look what she's doing now! His response was, "Yep! Good things happen when God makes them happen!"
I love that kid!!!
I'm so thankful that Caleb opened up to us about his feelings, but it was a tough, tough conversation. Five year olds should not have to be worried about whether their sister is going to die. I'm tearing up right now just thinking about the conversation.
Please don't stop praying for us, and especially for my sweet boy's heart.