Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Rough Day

I'm not gonna lie--today was rough.  Abby is feeling rotten, and just doesn't want to do much of anything.  Her sleep is fitful and usually is full of moaning and tossing.  She doesn't want to do anything at the playroom and just cries in pain.  She's (obviously) very whiny, which I totally get....but that doesn't mean it isn't taxing!  My poor, sweet girl isn't feeling well at all, and it's got me asking what the coming years will bring.  

These are supposed to be the "easy" surgeries where the kids are back to their usual selves the same afternoon of surgery.  A lot of these kids go home the same day!  

But Abby is still moaning in her sleep, her oxygen levels dipping to the mid 80s and staying at the low 90s.  We are trying to hold out on oxygen, but if she needs it, she needs it.  Doing these expansions every 4-6 months until her chest wall is done growing is going to be rough if this is what each one will be like.  I've been told the kids' bodies get used to it and they adapt quickly, so I'm holding onto that hope.

It's so easy to feel sorry for ourselves and this life we have.  I mean, we have like 29 more of these to look forward to!  But you know what?  I am THANKFUL that I have this to look forward to!  I'm thankful that she's here.  I'm thankful for this life-saving device that will better her chances of a long, healthy(ish) life!  

And when I drifted to that place in my mind where I did start my pity party tonight, God almost immediately sent someone to remind me that Abby is here for a purpose.  God is changing lives through her story.  Her life has so much value and I am blessed to be her mom.

So today was hard, but I'm thankful for every hard's another day I have with Abby.

Choose Joy.

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