Thankful

To say that Abby had a difficult day today would be an understatement.  She is severely agitated, which has resulted in a lot of thrashing around.  The team hasn't quite figured out the proper cocktail she needs in order to keep her asleep, so right now she's just really anxious.

The day got a whole lot worse around 2:45 when Abby's oxygen levels suddenly started to drop rapidly.  I had just called the nurse a few minutes before because she was so agitated and I was hoping she could get some more medicine.  

When the nurse came in, Abby started having a lot of junk in her mouth and seemed to need suctioning. Her oxygen levels started to dip a little bit, but then the nurse couldn't get the suction tube to go down her breathing tube.  All of the sudden, her oxygen levels dropped from the high 80s to the 50s.  The nurse calmly asked for the lights to be turned on and to get the Ambu (emergency) bag.  

My mom was in the room, so I quietly asked her to step out...I had a feeling I knew what was coming.  The nurse started bagging her, but Abby went from the 50s very quickly to 26 and was blue.  Then the "no breath detected" sign started flashing.

  

The nurse pushed the button for help, and I was amazed at how quickly help came!  I stepped out of the room to allow the 15 or so people in there to do their jobs.  Mom and I watched and cried from the hallway.  

It was surreal.

I honestly don't really remember feeling anything.  I just watched with tear-filled eyes as I witnessed so many people working on my little girl.  

Long story short, there was a kink in the breathing tube.  The kind of intubation Abby has to have because of her airway can cause this kind of problem.  They believe that Abby's thrashing around probably caused it.  Since she is relying on the ventilator right now for all of her breaths, the kink caused her to stop breathing.

After everyone cleared out, I sent my mom out to my dad and aunt, who were waiting in the lobby without any idea of what just happened.  

I'd been pretty calm and basically holding it in, minus a few tears.  But when that room emptied and Abby and I were alone, I lost it.  

After another substantial desat this evening for an unknown reason (this time she only needed six people!), the doctors have decided to be "generous" with her medicines so that she can really be still and calm.  She's on a lot of oxygen, her chest xrays have been examined and seem fine, and she is currently sleeping.

I am thankful tonight...thankful for our quick-thinking nurse...thankful for her calmness...thankful for the team that ran to assist...thankful for my parents and aunt being here so that I didn't have to face that alone...thankful for God's protection on Abby's life...thankful that I can still kiss my sweet girl's head and squeeze her hand...just thankful.

The nurse scolded her for her antics and told her that she wouldn't get to sleep with the lights off until she learned to behave!  She has also earned herself her own personal nurse who will stay in her room tonight.  This is our same awesome nurse from last night who spent a lot of time calming Abby with me, so I know we are in good hands.

Where will I be?  In a chair right by her bed, keeping vigil.

Hug your kiddos tonight.  I can't hug either of mine right now, but I made sure they both know how much I love them!

Thank you SO much for all of your prayers, and I ask that you continue to pray for her as she faces this next week.  Let's hope the rest of it is far more boring!