Thursday, April 10, 2014

Stream of Consciousness

I haven't done one of these in forever, and probably some of you newerish readers don't even know what it is.  Basically, I write whatever I'm thinking without trying to formulate it into an eloquent statement. It will go from one thing to the next without warning.  Fun, right?!  (My sister loves these!)

As a mom, it's hard when your kid feels like he doesn't fit in.  I see what a great kid he is, and I love his passion for knowledge.  But I also know he's pretty much on a different plane than most other kids his age.  He's had a lot of experiences that have shaped who he is, and a lot of those experiences aren't typical for a 7 year old.  I just hope that other kids can appreciate him and accept him for who he is.  My dog is lying on the couch.  Don't tell my husband.  She really loves the couch.  :)  I'm really ready for Spring Break.  Even though we had like a bagillion snow days, very few of them fell on days I was working...which means I have to make up days that weren't really my work days to begin with.  Oh well.  It's been a really busy year at work and I am ready for a break.  I am currently in the process of testing some adorable pre-k kids.  They're my favorite to test because they're just so little and cute.  I love that age.  I also love Swiss cheese.  We have some in the fridge, but I'm too lazy to get out of my chair and get some.  It's already cubed up and everything.  My mouth is watering.  My tulips are starting to pop up.  I haven't seen any bulbs yet or anything, but the leaves are coming.  I love tulip season.  I have them planted all over my yard as a reminder that Holland can be beautiful too.   Abby has been sick with the flu.  She was diagnosed in the ER on Sunday night and went back to the ER on Tuesday for dehydration.  After switching her nausea medicine, she's much more willing to drink fluids and even ate a decent amount today.  She's acting pretty normal and hasn't had a fever since Tuesday morning, so I'm hoping she will be ready to go to Mom's Morning Out on Friday.  I find myself sometimes forgetting what we are facing this summer.   Or when I talk about it, I feel like I'm talking about someone else's life.  Does that ever happen to you?  I think I take myself out of the situation as a way of coping with it. But then something will hit me and I'll feel the magnitude of this surgery.  Someone on the VEPTR site mentioned how much they hate the spiel anesthesiology gives them each time before surgery about the ramifications of doing/not doing surgery.  The fear of a spinal cord injury is very real...and so is the fear of a collapsed lung or respiratory distress if we don't do the surgery.  So do we choose the prospect of a spinal cord injury, or the prospect of a lung transplant?  It's not an easy decision, to say the least.  And we've already made the decision, but that doesn't mean I don't second guess myself when I start worrying.  A friend in college told me worrying is like a rocking chair.  It gives you something to do, but it won't get you anywhere.  I find that's true and I'd love to stop worrying so much.  Is there a pill for that?  Maybe.  Enough for tonight.

No comments: