Friday, July 5, 2013

Separation

I have lots of fun pictures of recent events on my camera right now!  I just have to help them make their way to my computer, then edit them.  This all takes time, which I am very short on at the present time...between two crazy kids, feeding Abby every meal, doing work for the training I am leading next week, and managing a household from 2 hours away, I don't have lots of time.  Add very spotty internet to the mix and blogging is pretty much not going to happen too often.  Sorry!

We had a great 4th of July with our little family of four.  This is actually the first time all four of us have had the opportunity to have some fun together since we've been up here, because Matt is only up here for short amounts of time and most everything is centered around feeding.  I'll save the details for another post, but our holiday included Port Discovery, fireworks, and RMH friends!

Unfortunately, we are seeing more and more that Abby is suffering from separation anxiety.  We have never dealt with this before.  She has been around random nurses since the day she was born and has never had any issues about being left.  In fact, she's even fine going into the playroom at feeding school.  It's just everywhere else that it is evident.

If I walk away for a second, she's screaming, "Momma!  Don't leave me!  Come back!"  I can forget putting her to bed and going out to the kitchen with the monitor, because that causes convulsions.  RMH isn't exactly the place to impose the Cry It Out strategy, either.  I woke up to go to the bathroom the other night.  She heard me and started crying hysterically, "Don't leave me!!!!"

Poor Abby is fearful of so many things that she has never been afraid of before.  She clings to my hand everywhere we go and screams if I have to let go of it for a second.  She lost it during a parade she was in as they walked through the hospital, telling me that the noise scared her.

Abby has never been a fearful child and is usually really easy-going.  This kind of anxiety really worries me, and I feel so badly for her!  I keep trying to reassure her that I am not leaving and that she is safe, but it doesn't seem to help much.  As we speak, I'm sitting in our room in the dark because she screams if I try to leave the room.

I really don't know what is going on in that two year old brain of hers, but I'm certain that it stems from being in that awful holding pen playroom, being left to fend for herself among the chaos all day long.  I almost wish that she would freak out a little when she is there.  Maybe then the techs in charge would get off their phones and pay a little attention to her!!  

Why, no, the playroom isn't any better at all.  Thanks for asking!

I hate that I am regretting this decision.  The feeding is definitely better, but I'm not sure it's "better enough" to risk losing so much ground in other areas.  For the price of her language and emotional development, I feel like she should be downing some sandwiches or something!  Sadly enough, the other negative aspects of the program outweigh the positives of the feeding itself.  The feeding therapists are great, but the playroom is...not.  I will not recommend the program to anyone whose child has any delays or social/emotional concerns at all.  Typically-developing kids would probably not be majorly affected by watching cartoons and being ignored all day, but it is certainly detrimental to any child with a delay.

Sigh.  Sorry for the Debbie Downer post.  Perhaps it stemmed from the fact that it took me 2 hours to get my two year old to bed because she was so terrified of me leaving her.  :(

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Since Google Reader doesn't work anymore you should add your blog to Bloglovin!

Raelyn said...

Julie....
I am sorry that your plate is so full, Friend!! But somehow you have managed to keep up the Blogging!! ;)
Do not worry about your "Debbie Downer" post. Blogging--as in writing--can sometimes work as therapy when you just have to get something "out of your system", as that phrase goes!! I am reading, listening, and now you ought to feel better!! For a minute, at least....
--Hugs!!--
--Raelyn

Anonymous said...

The more I read about that playroom, the more upset I get because it just sounds so crappy. Maybe Abby just has had her fill of hospital-related people. I don't think any two year old is happy being ignored all day. Maybe life is just too scary for her right now. Who knows?

Take care, and I enjoy your blog.

Best wishes for you and your family.

Lena