Monday, February 9, 2009

Woes of a Working Mother

It is incredibly difficult to work full time (plus a few part time jobs!), be an attentive mom, and a wife all at the same time. So I'm a bit sensitive when people make comments or assumptions about my house, the way our home is run, or how I balance it all.

I want to be at home. That's just not possible, so I'm making the best of it and hopefully things will be a little bit different next year...if all goes as planned! Anyway, it irks me to no end when people make comments about a speck of dust on a coffee table, or insinuate that I'm not doing "my job" because I don't cook dinner every night.

I work really hard at all of my jobs...I get to school incredibly early so that I don't have to take any work home. I stay late on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that I can get all of my lesson plans done before the weekend. I check timecards for Stacked Systems after Caleb goes to bed. I tutor on Mondays and have managed to turn it into family time where we go to dinner and play on the boat in the library before I tutor. I stay up late at night doing work so that Caleb can have my undivided attention while he is awake. I try very hard to carve out some "quality time" with Matt.

Is my house the cleanest? Probably not. Are there gourmet dinners on the table every night at 5:30 sharp? Hardly! Do I single-handedly take care of Caleb, the house, the dog, and cooking while rubbing my husband's feet and handing him the remote control so that he can watch his favorite television show after a long day at work? HA!!! But does that make me any less of a wife and mother? I really don't think so.

I'm different, but that doesn't mean that I don't love my son and husband as much as someone who bakes fresh bread every morning and always has chocolate chip cookies in the cookie jar.

So, just remember that...the comments you make about gender roles can hurt people who would love for things to be different. Walk a mile in someone else's shoes before you generalize.

Okay, I'm done. This is just something that continues to bother me, so I'm hoping that blogging about it will help to get my feelings out and help me to calm down a bit.


Katie said...

Who does Katie need to kill for Julie?

jenwrenfer said...

Yeah, seriously. Who in the world has the gall to make comments like that?

Michael said...

dont work TOO hard either! :)

my room is certainly not spotless either. a little grime here and there gives a place character in my humble opinion

i hope to see you all again soon too!