Skip to main content

bittersweet

Image
By
A friend of mine was carrying twins (a boy and a girl) and was due to have a C-section this week. To make a long story short, the cord got wrapped around the boy's throat and he didn't make it. The little girl is fine--beautiful, in fact! She weighed nearly 6 pounds, which is quite a feat for a baby 4 weeks early!

I just can't imagine how they are feeling right now. I mean, on one hand, you are excited to have a beautiful, healthy little girl. On the other hand, her birthday is going to haunt you forever. While most people are looking forward to bringing their baby home and leaving the uncomfortable hospital, they didn't even want to think of the idea.

I can't pretend to understand how they are feeling because I don't know. Thank the Lord that I don't! So, I'm doing the only thing I feel like I can do....be there to help out. We visited them in the hospital last weekend and Matt is taking dinner over tomorrow. None of that seems like it will do anything to help them feel better though. I am praying that this will allow us to become better friends and that God will use me....but I just don't know how right now! If anyone has dealt with something like this before and has thoughts on what to say, I would love to hear them. I don't want to ignore his existence, but I also don't want to cause my friend more pain right now. Where is the line?

The funeral is on Friday and I will be there crying right along with them. My heart is so heavy.

Comments

Gina said…
How terrible.
When I was in college, a friend of mine lost her father. She isn't a believer and I was struggling with HOW to show her the love of Christ through her grief. I shared this with a friend and when I said I just want to show her the love of Christ he simply replied
"then be Him" I will never forget that. And it has helped me in so many similar circumstances.
September 18, 2008 at 2:44 PM
Jen D. said…
Just be there for her. You will see places where you can be of help and service. But grief is very individual, and she will have to work things out in her own way in her own time. Be a good friend and when she needs someone to scream to or cry to she will know you are there.
September 18, 2008 at 7:47 PM
Julie said…
jenwrenfer---Who is this? (I don't care that you are reading my blog...I'm just excited that I have a new reader!) I think I have 4 now...
September 18, 2008 at 8:48 PM
Katie said…
Julie, jenwrenfer in Jen Duran! :-)

I'm so sorry to hear about this family, they will be in my prayers as I cannot imagine the pain...I do know one thing people tend to not want to hear is that it was God's will, etc. Regardless of all of that (which I still do not understand) bottom line is that the only thing they want is their baby back and nobody can give them that. I think the advice given so far is very good. I will be praying for you guys as you visit them tomorrow as well. :(
September 18, 2008 at 9:23 PM
Larissa said…
I know you read the blog of our close friends who just lost their little boy. It is my husbands best friend and has been hard for him to know what to say. One thing his friend told him was just listening to him was really helpful. More then anything Dan just wished he could have been there. Don't worry that you don't have all the answers, they actually have linked several articles on their site to help others to know what to say in situations like this. I do believe that minstering to them in this time no matter how small is a work of God's grace in their lives, a meal, a card a kind word. Sometimes even a phone call to just say hello. you should read their post on this!! I am very sorry to hear about their loss. Nothing is harder for a parent then to lose their child, as I know you can imagine!! heres the link again to our friends site.

http://caseychappell.typepad.com/baby/2008/09/they-said-it-best.html

I hope it helps!

Blessings!
September 19, 2008 at 1:10 AM
Jen D. said…
Sorry Julie! I forgot my login name isn't very telling.
September 22, 2008 at 5:15 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Cerebrocostomandibular Syndrome

By
If you happen to pick up the latest Reader's Digest, there is an article in there about Piper Breinholt , a four year old with CCMS.  If you've been around here a while, you'll remember wayyyyyy back when we first received Abby's diagnosis that I was able to speak to Piper's mom, Reagan.  The article is more about their story and not as much about the ins and outs of CCMS, but I think it's probably enough to get some people googling it and I'm hoping a few will end up here. Every once in a while, I give a blog post the title of Cerebrocostomandibular Syndrome so that it would show up in Google.  My ever-present hope is that people will stumble across my blog and 1) be encouraged by the hope we have in Christ, 2) feel a connection with someone in a similar situation as them, or 3) get excited over the miracles that have been performed in Abby's life!!  (a combination of all 3 is great too!)  :)   Notice that it's not to get famous and it ...
10 comments
Read more

Bath Time Photos!!

By
As promised, here are lots of photos of Abby's first bath. Caleb was supposed to be in bed, but the bathroom is right next to his room... "I'm not too sure about this..." Once she learned how to splash, she was all smiles! Her first good hair wash! Gotta protect the trach! She really liked getting water poured on her head.  It was cute! Smiley (and bubbly) for Daddy while he dried her off. All clean!!  (Note the Lysol wipes in that last picture.  They are NEVER far away!)
Post a Comment
Read more

Imagination Movers Photo Recap

By
Seriously, The Imagination Movers were so much fun!  They played lots of their own music, with some classic rock mixed in for the adults.  There were also quite a few jokes and references to Baltimore, which was kind of fun.   The whole night centered around this robot named Rock-o-Matic, or "Rocko."   This is Mover Scott, and he wears Wobble Goggles that help him see new ideas.  Caleb and Abby have a pair of goggles too.  :) There are 4 main Movers that are part of the TV show, but they have 2 extra movers to play instruments and do back-up vocals in their live tour. Abby finished up her feed before the show started so that she would be free to dance! My dancing queen did NOT want to sit in my lap.  The row in front of us was empty, and that is where she stood almost the entire show--dancing the night away. My Imagination Movers  Caleb did his share of singing and dancing too.  He knows m...
13 comments
Read more