Wednesday, September 17, 2008

bittersweet

A friend of mine was carrying twins (a boy and a girl) and was due to have a C-section this week. To make a long story short, the cord got wrapped around the boy's throat and he didn't make it. The little girl is fine--beautiful, in fact! She weighed nearly 6 pounds, which is quite a feat for a baby 4 weeks early!

I just can't imagine how they are feeling right now. I mean, on one hand, you are excited to have a beautiful, healthy little girl. On the other hand, her birthday is going to haunt you forever. While most people are looking forward to bringing their baby home and leaving the uncomfortable hospital, they didn't even want to think of the idea.

I can't pretend to understand how they are feeling because I don't know. Thank the Lord that I don't! So, I'm doing the only thing I feel like I can do....be there to help out. We visited them in the hospital last weekend and Matt is taking dinner over tomorrow. None of that seems like it will do anything to help them feel better though. I am praying that this will allow us to become better friends and that God will use me....but I just don't know how right now! If anyone has dealt with something like this before and has thoughts on what to say, I would love to hear them. I don't want to ignore his existence, but I also don't want to cause my friend more pain right now. Where is the line?

The funeral is on Friday and I will be there crying right along with them. My heart is so heavy.

6 comments:

Gina said...

How terrible.
When I was in college, a friend of mine lost her father. She isn't a believer and I was struggling with HOW to show her the love of Christ through her grief. I shared this with a friend and when I said I just want to show her the love of Christ he simply replied
"then be Him" I will never forget that. And it has helped me in so many similar circumstances.

jenwrenfer said...

Just be there for her. You will see places where you can be of help and service. But grief is very individual, and she will have to work things out in her own way in her own time. Be a good friend and when she needs someone to scream to or cry to she will know you are there.

Caleb's Mom said...

jenwrenfer---Who is this? (I don't care that you are reading my blog...I'm just excited that I have a new reader!) I think I have 4 now...

Katie said...

Julie, jenwrenfer in Jen Duran! :-)

I'm so sorry to hear about this family, they will be in my prayers as I cannot imagine the pain...I do know one thing people tend to not want to hear is that it was God's will, etc. Regardless of all of that (which I still do not understand) bottom line is that the only thing they want is their baby back and nobody can give them that. I think the advice given so far is very good. I will be praying for you guys as you visit them tomorrow as well. :(

Larissa said...

I know you read the blog of our close friends who just lost their little boy. It is my husbands best friend and has been hard for him to know what to say. One thing his friend told him was just listening to him was really helpful. More then anything Dan just wished he could have been there. Don't worry that you don't have all the answers, they actually have linked several articles on their site to help others to know what to say in situations like this. I do believe that minstering to them in this time no matter how small is a work of God's grace in their lives, a meal, a card a kind word. Sometimes even a phone call to just say hello. you should read their post on this!! I am very sorry to hear about their loss. Nothing is harder for a parent then to lose their child, as I know you can imagine!! heres the link again to our friends site.

http://caseychappell.typepad.com/baby/2008/09/they-said-it-best.html

I hope it helps!

Blessings!

jenwrenfer said...

Sorry Julie! I forgot my login name isn't very telling.