Sunday, May 4, 2014

Fear


Guys, you know I talk a big talk about Choosing Joy.  And I do try.  Try.  

But today was rough.  

I kinda had a feeling that I was teetering on the edge of stability when I sobbed through "Our God" on the radio on the way to church.  But all it took was a totally innocent comment in Sunday School about how children are a gift and we never know how much time we will have with them for me to completely lose it.  I had to make a quick exit before they saw my Ugly Cry.  

These sorts of emotional meltdowns are usually unannounced.  One day, I can nonchalantly sing along to a song on the radio, and the next day I flood the driver's side.  

I don't expect people who are not in this situation to understand.  But our reality is that the VEPTR is a last resort.  Without this surgery series, we will most likely lose Abby.  But the surgery series has risks and complications in itself, and Abby's respiratory status isn't as great as the surgeons would like for it to be.  It's a scary situation, to say the least.

I'm emotionally exhausted.  All I can say is thanks for praying.  We need them tonight and often over the next three months.  

3 comments:

RicKim said...

Oh dear friend...praying much and often!!! Love you all!

Sue S said...

Praying for you and your family Julie.

Raelyn said...

Julie....
I felt led by God to check in on you. And I'm so very glad I did!! ;)
"I don't expect people who are not in this situation to understand. But our reality is that the VEPTR is a last resort. Without this surgery series, we will most likely lose Abby. But the surgery series has risks and complications in itself, and Abby's respiratory status isn't as great as the surgeons would like for it to be. It's a scary situation, to say the least." Firstly, I do get it.... More than I probably should. {Hugs!!} Secondly. What I did not understand was how Abby's very life depends on these VEPTR operations. Thanks for clarifying this, so I can be more descriptive in my praying. ;)
Love you later, Raelyn