Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Toughness and Truth

Not sure if you've noticed, but it's been a little quiet over here on the blog recently.  When I have blogged, it hasn't been so emotional.  Some of that has just been the busy-ness of the time of year and the amount of time I can devote to blogging, but a fair amount has also been that I have really been trying to internalize what "having the gene" means...and I wasn't quite ready to share my heart again with the world.

Guilt washed over me when Abby got sick with a virus and the usual concern over her weight and respiratory status during the illness begins.  I caused this.  The fear of the future began anew when we listened to the thoracic specialists talk about potential rib surgeries.  I caused this.  Teaching a new group of teachers all about Abby's medical precautions caused the butterflies in my stomach to flutter again at the thought of not being there to keep an eye on her.  I caused this.

In my search to begin to understand why God gave me the gene that caused Abby to have CCMS, I wanted to share with you a few verses I found from John chapter 9:

As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, “Rabbi, who sinned,this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”
“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him."

I heard these verses on our local Christian radio station on a particularly difficult night.  They were exactly what I needed to hear.  Abby has CCMS so that others can see the works of God in her!  What an incredible opportunity, when I choose look at it that way.

Just like everything else in this journey, joy has to be my choice.  I can choose to ask, "Why me?" and blame myself for giving Abby CCMS, or I can choose to thank God for entrusting me with the awesome responsibility of being Abby's momma.  


2 comments:

Karen said...

I really love that verse and your post!

Raelyn said...

Julie....
I may have passed the lyrics to this song your way before. But I suffer from premature short-term memory loss!! These words have truly spoken to my heart, seeing that Bob Kauflin could have very well composed it for me personally!! ;)
"Song for Those with Disabilities"

Written by Bob Kauflin

Within the womb I formed you
I fashioned and made each part
I thought of your fingers, your hands and your feet
Your mouth, your lungs, your heart
Though you might think that you’re different
I made you the way that you are
So you could discover the God who made you
And find out all I am
And though you might think you have limitations
There are no limits with Me
When you turn your eyes to My salvation
Finally you will see
In Me, you have all that you need
In Me, you have all that you need
In Me, you have all that you’ll ever need.
And I’ve heard each prayer that you’ve called out
“Why did You make me this way?”
You may not completely understand now
But there will be a day
When I make everything known to you
And what you don’t now understand
You will see that I'm Wise and I’m Mighty and Good
Just like all My plans
And if you trust in the work of My Son
One day you will see
That I’ve made you the way you are
To draw your heart to Me
To draw your heart to Me.
Very good Blog post, Friend!! ;)
--Raelyn